Behind the Chair as an Introvert: Finding My Place in a Very Social Industry

By Caroline, THE LOFT Advanced Artist

I've been behind the chair for four years, and in that time I've learned a lot about hair.

I've also learned a lot about myself.

I'm naturally more introverted. I've never been someone who feels the need to fill every silence or keep a conversation going simply because the room gets quiet.

When I became a hairstylist, I sometimes wondered if that would work against me.

This is a very social industry. We're spending hours with our clients, often through some pretty significant moments in their lives. And when you look around the beauty industry—especially on social media—it can sometimes feel like the biggest personalities are the ones who stand out.

For a while, I wondered: Do I need to be more like that to be a great hairstylist?

I've learned that I don't.

In fact, being an introvert has become one of my strengths behind the chair.

Connection Doesn't Mean Constant Conversation

One of the biggest things I've learned is that you don't have to fill every quiet moment to connect with someone.

Sometimes we talk through an entire appointment. Sometimes there's a really meaningful ten-minute conversation. Sometimes we laugh about something ridiculous, catch up on what's happening in your life and then settle into comfortable silence.

And sometimes you just want to scroll through your phone.

That's okay, too.

I don't measure a great appointment by how much we talked. I care much more about whether you felt comfortable being yourself.

Listening Makes Me a Better Stylist

Being a hairstylist is about much more than creating beautiful hair.

Before I can create the right look, I need to understand the person sitting in my chair.

What do you love about your hair?

What drives you crazy?

How much time do you actually want to spend styling it in the morning?

What are you willing to maintain—and what are you definitely not going to maintain no matter how much I tell you to?

Those answers matter.

And sometimes you hear more when you're not thinking about what you're going to say next.

Being naturally quieter has made me a listener. I notice things. I remember little details. I ask questions and give people the space to answer them.

When you feel heard, I understand you better.

And when I understand you better, I can create hair that actually feels like you.

You Don't Have to Entertain Your Hairstylist

I think clients sometimes feel pressure to talk during a hair appointment.

You don't have to.

Really.

If you've had a long week and want to close your eyes during your shampoo, please do.

If you want to answer emails, read, scroll, or just sit quietly while I work, I'm completely comfortable with that.

And if you walk in bursting to tell me everything that's happened since I saw you last, I'm here for that too.

Everyone communicates differently.

There isn't a “right” way to be a salon client.

Some Relationships Take Time

Some of my favorite client relationships weren't instant.

They grew.

Appointment after appointment, you start remembering the little things. You hear about the new job, the relationship, the vacation, the family, the big decision they were trying to make the last time they sat in your chair.

Eventually, you're celebrating milestones together.

There's something really special about the trust that develops naturally over time.

I don't think those relationships happen because I entertained someone for three hours.

They happen because we got to know each other.

Finding My Place Behind the Chair

Four years into my career, I no longer think being introverted is something I need to overcome.

It's part of the stylist I've become.

It's taught me to listen more carefully, observe more closely and be intentional about the way I communicate.

It's also taught me something I wish I understood sooner:

You don't have to be the loudest person in the room to make someone feel seen.

Sometimes being present is more meaningful than being entertaining.

And some of the most special relationships I've built behind the chair have grown from exactly that—listening, remembering, laughing when there's something to laugh about, being quiet when there isn't anything that needs to be said, and allowing the person in my chair to simply be themselves.

Turns out, there's plenty of room in this very social industry for an introvert.

I found mine.